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Monday, Dec. 29, 2003 @ 9:52 p.m. I should have listened! I usually go to a nursing home one of my friends is in to visit him. Well since I started visiting him there I have met lots of people who are extreemly lonely and need some visitors or just someone to talk to and show they still are cared about. anyway I met this guy name bobbie there and he had lost his legs to diabetes and kidney disease. About sarurday the 20th he kept coming to mind and I felt it was the holy spirit telling me to go and see him, so I told my wife Amy I was going to go see him on Christmas day. Everyday all day long I kept thinking of him until Christmas day, then Amy and I slept in and kicked back all day and about 9:00pm my wife said oh no you did'nt go see the guys at the home today. I felt bad but figured I could go as soon as possible well... I got a call from another guy at the nursing home telling me that Bobbie had died, imediatly I wept uncontrollably I couldn't help but think about how he must have spent his last Christmas all alone with no vsitors, no gifts.... I wished I would have listened to that little voice that kept saying go see Bobbie go see Bobbie but nooo I was to wrapped up in my own little life and now all I can think about is how he spent his last Christmas all by himself while I was at home being treated like a king by my wife. if I would have listened it might have been different. the guy who called me is dying of cancer and was in the hospital so he wasn't there either, man it sure is hard to love others, I used to keep an invisable wall around me and very few people got in to know me because that way I didn't have to feel the pain that comes along with letting people get close. unfotunately we live in an unperfect world and people lie, steal, cheat, beat and die as well as other things and it really hurts to exsperience those things but we also don't get to exsperience the joys of giving and reciving gifts or helping someone, or just the overwhelming joy of a smile from a nursing home resident that didn't exspect to see you and there you are. If I wasn't dealing with some major mobility issues I'm sure I would go to the nursing home much more often. visiting the nursing home also reminds me of how blessed I truely am, though I have muscular dystrophy I can still do many things at 42 that some people have never been able to do...sooo I guess the moral of this page is I need to stop whining and enjoy life right were I'm at because the grass may be greener on the other side of the hill but it may also be riddled with poison ivy... looks are decieving and sometimes we don't know how good we got it. we may be living in paradise and not even know it! All content property of RAM 2003 |
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